Tabu

To celebrate the start of march madness, General Tso and I decided to try out the new gayborhood sports bar, Tabu. We had already been to Mikey's, the sister (brother?) bar to Tabu, and had liked the food, so we were expecting good things. The place was crowded with men when we got there, but there were a few open tables, and we were seated right away. There's 3 nice flat screens in the back area where the tables are, and I was pleased that each was playing a different second-round game, but I don't think 3 TVs is enough to call yourself a sports bar.

They had an NCAA drink special, which was pretty unique: 64 cocktails, each designed after one of the teams in the tourney. The General got a neon green long island iced tea, which represented Michigan State, but I didn't have the balls to try something new, so I opted for a beer. To share, General Tso and I got 10 buffalo hot and 10 Jim Beam bourbon wings. We didn't agree which ones were better, so I ended up eating 9 buffalo and 1 bourbon wing. Overall, I thought the wings were meaty and had great flavor. Plenty of crunchy carrots too!

Wings

For my entree, I ordered an appetizer, cajun battered cauliflower with parmesan dipping sauce. Unfortunately, the cauliflower came out at the same time as the wings, so they were cold by the time I tried them. They were ok; I expect much more from a dish with the words "cajun" and "batter" in it. I couldn't taste any cajun, and the parmesan dipping sauce was bland. I think there were too many bites for the dish to be an entree. It probably would have been received much better if it was shared as an appetizer, as it was meant to be.

Fried Cauliflower

General Tso pounded his flank steak sandwich; I barely had time to snap a picture. According to him, it was really good and very tasty. However, he is on his "anyone can cook good steak" kick, so he thought it was nothing special. I wouldn't know, since I rarely eat steak.

Flank Steak Sandwich

After dinner, we headed downstairs to find an empty pool table. Score! We found the poles to play with, but there were no balls in sight. Highly disappointing. The manager kindly informed us that someone had stolen the balls. Maybe they should think of a new system to keep track of their balls. I probably wouldn't go back to this sports bar unless they found their balls. They didn't have enough TVs to watch Sunday NFL football, and you can't beat Fox and Hound's never ending chips.

Rating: 3/5 girly cocktails

Rant: Steaks Are Boring

That's right, I said it. Steaks are boring. They're monotonous, and I'm tired of them. I always used to say that there's nothing better than a perfectly cooked steak, but you know what? Everyone and their mother can cook a steak perfectly. It really doesn't take that much skill to press your thumb on a piece of meat. That's what she said.

The worst part about them is that after you're done, you feel like Jabba the Hutt, and you're a little lighter in the wallet because steaks are usually the priciest item on the menu. You can't even dress them up, because steaks are always worse with an accompaniment. The only thing that should really be on a steak is salt, pepper, and MAYBE butter. My friend's stupid cat can even do that.

My Friend's Cat Might Have The IQ Of Sand

But He Can Cook A Steak

General Tso Takes A Bite Out Of The Big Apple

As you know, I love the edible. So you may be surprised to find out that I have never once eaten at a restaurant in New York City. And yet, because of my stubborn side, I will tell anyone that listens that Philadelphia has the best restaurant scene on the eastern seaboard. Of course, this is a bald-faced lie, but at least I say it with confidence.

So when a former college friend invited me to stay with him for a weekend up in the East Village of Manhattan, I decided to make amends for my deceitful past and pit The City against Phildadelphia's smaller but nonetheless impressive line-up of restaurants.

As soon as I stepped out of my bus in the near vicinity of Penn Station, I was greeted with restaurants as far as the eye could see. Diners, dives, (no drive-ins; sorry Guy Fiere), lounges, five-stars, bars, penthouses, cafes, grease trucks...on and on with no end in sight. Was this some sort of fantasy? Did I die and go to gastric heaven? Or was this reality, with every block a culinary adventure? With excitement mounting within my loins, I set off to take a bite out of the Big Apple (and I don't even like apples). My only regret is that I didn't have Napoleon by my side to guide my decisions.

I told my gracious host that I wanted to sample the heart and soul of New York; the core of the apple, if you will. I wanted to sample what New York was known for. Of course, we wound up at a quaint Italian restaurant called Posto that specialized in thin-crust pizza. The irony! And yet, I couldn't have asked for a better start to the weekend.

I wound up getting cheesy garlic bread and a personal thin-crust pizza with pepperoni, sausage, and red onions. Maybe I was just hungry from the 2 hour bus ride, but these were amazing. They tasted incredible, with fresh ingredients and hints of EVOO throughout. I am drooling as I write this...although, this could also be due to a mini-stroke from my eating habits.

Cheesy Garlic Bread

Pizza Pizza

Later that night, we went to a local, hip spot named Vamos! (Note: the exclamation point is part of the restaurant's name; I am not screaming at you...yet.) Also located in the East Village, this Mexican restaurant seemed to be a copy of one of those Steven Starr joints, like Alma de Cuba, where the ambiance is more important than the food. I was pleasantly surprised, however, at the creativity of the food. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures as the lighting was poor, and, as my friend with a Droid was quick to remind me, my iPhone does not come equipped with a flash. Well screw you, dear friend!

In any case, I'll try to paint you a picture with words. Like Shakespeare, only better. The (free) chips came in small paper bags, which wicked away the oil from the frying. Very clever. And on presentation it appeared to be like street food. My dish was a lamb burrito with a tangy chipotle sauce. Yes, it was interesting in description, but unfortunately the chef did nothing to temper the gaminess of the meat, as is so often done in Indian cooking. I don't think lamb was a good choice for a burrito preparation, but in their defense, it was cooked very well, and the sauce won me over.

Finally, after a long night of doing the "Night at the Roxbury" along the walls of some of NYC's nicest clubs, we decided to cure the ills of our hangover with some Indian food. My host recommended a nice South Indian restaurant called Tiffin Wala, which means "of the tiffin" in Hindi. Trust me, it makes sense in the original language. For appys, we got samosas (blah) and papri chaat (double blah). They were like any other samosas and chaat I've had before . While my friends ordered dosas for entrees, I decided to take a different route and order a paneer uttapam (basically a savory cheese pancake served with chutney). While not necessarily a blockbuster, the restaurant was consistently good, with nary a below average dish among our samplings. I approved as I went into liver failure.

Samosas

Papri Chaat

Masala Dosa

Paneer Uttapam

NYC's rating: 4/5 apple bites (with more than enough potential to achieve a 5)