Battlefood #1: Souffles

This is a very exciting time here at Battlefood, as we have finally executed what this site was initially constructed for, battlefooding! Let me explain this complex concept for all the beautiful (and ugly) audience members out there. We take two items that are similar, and we compare them. For instance, we could compare similar dishes at different restaurants, or we could battle it out Iron Chef-style with the same secret ingredient. In this edition, we're comparing two homemade souffles: cheese and chocolate. Please indulge my boxing introduction.

Laaaaaaaaadies and gentlemen, welcome to battlefood.blogspot.com and the main event!

Introducing first, in the red corner, weighing in at 8 oz. and standing at 4 inches tall,

the underdog with the overbite, Cheese "melts in your mouth" Souffleeeeeeee.

And his opponent, in the blue corner, weighing in also at 8 oz. and standing 4 inches tall, with an undefeated record in the dessert kingdom, Chocolate "melts in your mouth but in a more sexual way" Souffleeeeeeeeee.

Let's get ready to ruuuuumble!

Round 1: Taste

This round wasn't a contest, as Chocolate's strong and memorable flavor pummeled (cheddar) Cheese's subtle flavor that was clearly diluted by the souffles structure. In later matches, Cheese might consider adding other flavor combinations to its arsenal, such as cayenne pepper, nutmeg, garlic, or herbs.

Chocolate awarded 9 points.

Cheese awarded 7 points.

Round 2: Texture

The judges were left flabbergasted at the difference in texture during this round, since both contestants are technically souffles. However, it seemed that Chocolate's higher fat content allowed it to withstand the heat of the ring, whereas Cheese simply wilted under the limelight into a grainier souffle. Perhaps next time Cheese can pack on some pounds (like his friends Monterey, Gruyere, or Chihuahua) so as not to create the grainy texture. What can we say? Ladies love the chubsters.

Chocolate awarded 8 points.

Cheese awarded 5 points.

Round 3: Repeatability (AKA the pity-for-Cheese round)

With Chocolate all but having wrapped it up, the judges decided to throw in this extra round just so the final score wouldn't look terrible. Clearly Cheese has greater versatility, but unfortunately it just didn't sho-...WAIT! In a sudden turn of events, it appears Chocolate has KO'd Cheese in its own pity round! What cruelty, what drama! I'm sure this utter embarrassment will not soon be forgotten by Cheese, who must be taken away on a stretcher.

Winner by knockout: Chocolate Souffle!